When I’m golfing with new people, I tend to mind my own business. I very rarely play competitively, so it’s just me against myself and my own desire to improve. There was a round last season though, a hole really, that sticks out. More to the point, what one of my playing partners did. It was a par 5, water on both sides and woods right, a pretty tight hole. My partner, who we’ll call Ed, pumps his drive dead right, well into the woods. “I’m hitting another,” he said. Sure, who hasn’t re-teed one? Same result. Ed says he’ll just play it from where it went in. OK. Ed goes to the edge of the woods, drops and another one goes right. “I’ll play that one from where it went in too.” Sure, not my business, no money on the line etc. Ed puts one close to the green, makes a nice chip, and two putts, one of which was given. “Put me down for a bogey,” Ed says to his friend, our other playing partner. Wait, what?
I didn’t call Ed out for his scoring generosity, but I did something I rarely do, I watched Ed a lot more closely than I ever watch another golfer. There were a lot of improved lies (including moving his ball from the fringe to the green), very generous putts given, and a few more mulligans along the way. He finished with an “89.”
When the USGA announced in January that the average handicap for golfers in the US is 14 I thought again of my round with Ed. Not only thinking about Ed, but from the golf I’ve played, especially the last few years, I’ve come to a few conclusions about the handicap system.
I’m a really bad golfer
I actually had a teaching pro tell me that. Well, his exact words were, “you’re not very good at golf.” I didn’t go back to that pro, but he’s got a point. The numbers don’t lie. Currently, according to my Chicago District Golf Association(CDGA) Handicap Index(HCI), I’m a 41.7. If you’re familiar with golf handicaps, I’m sorry if you did a spit take on your monitor or smartphone. If you’re not familiar with the HCI, for context, the higher the number, the poorer the golfer. In theory, the highest HCI is 54, though I’ve never met anyone close to my number. The thing is, most of the time at the municipal courses I frequent, I don’t feel completely outclassed, at least not a gap of 27.7 on the HCI. This leads me to…
Most golfers don’t keep a handicap
A lot of people play golf, but I’m guessing the majority don’t bother with keeping a handicap. Folks just come out and play and that’s that. Looking at so many of my hobbies and pursuits, I come by wanting an HCI naturally. I follow a band, Phish, that has its own stat generator. Baseball is my favorite spectator sport and stats are as much a fabric of the game as hot dogs and Cracker Jack. We can debate later what statistics are better for understanding baseball. So being able to have my own little golf statistics was just so much catnip. I’ve created my own cheat sheets for the courses I frequent so I know what score I need to make my HCI go down. And handicap numbers are just the tip of the iceberg. I’m diving into other statistics and seeing where I stand in relation to other golfers (which is also a product of the handicap system) with various shots around the course. These numbers, such as “how close does an X handicap golfer get to the pin” lead me to the next point…
The handicap system skews to the more serious golfer/club member
Kind of like addiction, at some point the recreational pursuit becomes something else. These are the people you see at the range in 15-degree weather or standing at the bus stop almost unconsciously pantomiming their swing. At some point these folks, like me, want to know more and also like me, crave some kind of competition. But how to decide where and with whom to compete? And back to the handicap system, which was created to level the playing field in competitive golf…to an extent. While in theory a competition between a very high handicap and a very low one is a possibility, in reality, those tournaments don’t really happen. Instead, most competitions have a cut-off, like most state amateur competitions, or the tournament is divided up into flights. Handicaps are used to create flights. These kinds of tournaments are very popular at golf clubs, both public and private. In many cases, the clubs offer a means to record a handicap for their members. If you’ve ever wondered what that computer off to the side in the pro shop was, this was it. If you have decided to pony up the money to join a club, chances are you’ll be taking advantage of the handicap system so you can get the most out of your membership. I mean access to a locker and shower is nice, but winning the club's best ball (flight D) is forever. In that regard, people will do crazy things to get on that championship wall…
People fudge a bit (or a lot)
Which brings me back to Ed. I’m not sure if Ed was a member at any club or kept a handicap, but he did talk quite a bit about playing a lot of golf where he lived in Florida on courses that were part of his living community. People who have access to restricted courses and play a lot, tend to keep a handicap. And sure, I think most of us take a few liberties when not playing in a formal competition. A breakfast ball here, a slightly improved lie there, may he without sin cast the first divot. My golfing spouse, JB, and I have settled on a pretty loose rule of one mulligan per nine holes. Then there are people like Ed who get very creative. Now, is Ed playing so fast and loose in his member/guest invitational? Probably not, but he’s also probably playing in the wrong flight and wondering what is wrong.
Considering all of these points, it’s a good way to keep some perspective. In the larger golf world, only a small percentage of us keep handicaps. And those that do, tend, present company excluded, to be more into golf, and competitive golf, than the folks teeing it up at the local muni. But if you do keep a handicap, for all of our sakes, at least approach being honest. In short, don’t be like Ed.
